Unsatisfied hope.

People are never satisfied. We laugh and smile, but we’re never at peace.  This is how greatly unsatisfied we’ll always be. Sometimes, just once in a while in life, you feel like ‘most’ of the things are going right because of course, one person cannot have everything he wishes for. This is when reality knocks on your door and screams ‘ Hello bitch! Missed me? ‘ and you know you’re going to be in deep trouble for some time.

 All of us have different approaches to deal with unavoidable circumstances, some bail and some fight. That difference, what I feel, is the problem. You hope and hope and then hope a little more, when the dream crushes right into your palm, you set your bars low and dream again. There comes the hope again. Even when you say to yourself, “Dhwani, this is not going to happen in a million years, either STOP IT or take a gun and shoot yourself” and yet, you end up hoping, secretly of course.

When you’re hoping for somebody to call you, how many times do you end up looking at your phone? That’s the glitch, my friend.  Hope never dies. Even when everything else shatters. I wonder if that’s a good thing or bad.  The thing with life is that it’s a biggg, like seriously big, big-enough-to-fit-a-dinosaur big, envelope.  You open it with certain expectations and a lot of times, it never fails to disappoint you. But In life, you need to be happy. You need to carry happiness right in your purse so that everytime you feel like the envelope is going to hit you in the eye, you can take out happiness out of your purse and everything will be better once again.

What I do is, buy myself Ice tea. Just 42rs of happiness.
Oh, added with a little shopping, ofcourse.  ;)

Random, again.

Usually I have an issue in my mind which leads me onto writing.
Today? Nah. No reason. I just missed my page. :)

So Umm, what's going around? My phone is still in comma, I havn't done anything new lately, I got a test tomorrow, which by the way, I can guarantee on my new shoes, I'm going to fail.
Let's not forget the fact that my mom is not home and I'm still sitting home, not partying. Oh my lazybones, I wish somebody would threaten me to go out. :|

Anyway, I was talking to someone lately, The 'guys' issue AGAIN. I hate how often that topic comes up everywhere and how I can't resist talking about it. Relationships and guys conquer teenage girls, really. There does come a time in every girls life when its all about him. For some girls, it all about 'all of them', if you know what I mean. ;) Relationships, such a terror they are. You become so dependent on somebody that soon it becomes impossible for you to see them sad or mad at you. For those of you who say, They suck and blah blah bullshit, You might not have been in a real one. Now, that's the happy part of it. Ofcourse there are fights, and breakups. Sometimes there's just one way love and the other person is simply bored. It sucks. The even worse scenarios are when you're crazy about someone and you can't tell anyone.  It becomes a big big ball of secret that you want to throw at somebody, but you become helpless.
Relationships are like, What people on diet think about good food. You want it, but it might not be so good for you. Just like the layer of fresh mozzarella cheese on a warm bruschetta. Oh bullocks.
Getting too emotional, am I? About the food, I meant. :|

I thought to myself that I would do something new everyday, like I mentioned in my last post. But it just does not happen. I made pasta yesterday, they sucked ass. I tried to renovate a shirt, Idea failed. But then, It occurred to me, I can replace the whole 'doing' thing, with just realising and believe me you, I realise more then a 10-15 things every single day. I can even write a big fat book on the same. #Realisations that never end. For starters, Now I know there's nobody you can actually trust. Whatever you are, whatever you do, It's all you ,because most of people out there, they don't really care. So do what you feel like "Taaki koi blame karne waala bhi na ho, na credit share karne waala!"  As I quote somebody. Trust for me, is now just a myth.

Apart from that, Life's good. Though I wanna skip school, move 10 years forward have an amazing life at my summer beach house where I get to spend all my rich husband's money. :D

Thats all for today and here's a quote that just struck me.
 " People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be"
- Abraham Lincoln

Stay HAPPY!

Candy talk.

Have you ever wondered after a break up, how long you should wait before you talk to you ex?
Well guess what? I have pretty much the same feeling right now. But it's about my blog! :D

As long as I'm on the relationships subject, So I remember, once upon a time, I was talking to a friend and somehow we landed up on this never ending subject that somehow never fails to depresses me every time. So we both mutually agreed that you're always better off yourself. A relationship brings upon restrictions, narrowed self esteem, fights,compromises and lack of control on mind or irrationality, ofcourse. Now, People in love, don't go against me. I know every relationship has its pros too. The support, mutual care, a partner that you can seek to for comfort and yeah all that bullshit. I'm sorry, but i'm a little cynical and hence more emphasis on the negativity.

But then I thought about it for quite some time. Yes, another night wasted on that thought.
I thought to myself,  It's always the same. How many times have you thought to yourself  " Enough! I'm gonna quit on calories now. No more chocolates for me. " But remember those times when you cross a candy store, the moment when your eyes literally start rolling, when you can sense saliva coming off of your mouth? Yeah, That's when you enter the shop, and don't leave empty handed. Now, Relate it to guys and relationships.  Man, It sucks. I swear.

Oh chuck, This candy talk is giving me a sweet tooth. I'm gonna go munch on the pudding I just made.
Actually, the other day, I promised myself to do something new everyday. ( well, until my body starts to reek of laziness.) so today morning I woke up and found the house to myself. Normal people my age, call up their friends or go out and enjoy till their head starts to spin. But me? I decided to make myself pudding. Yes, you read it right. I made myself seriously yum pudding. Here, take a glance. :)

Oh,I just added a hell lot of calories. :|

Lost and confused

My first shot at poetry, or whatever that this is. -.-


You look at me, I shed a tear and smile
for its you, for whom I smile
If only you knew what was on my mind,
the cries that brought me sleepless nights
my wishes, unfulfilled and knifed
I lie on my bed with a pointless thought,soon come its end, is what i wish for.


quiet like the dead, i stand recluse
moving like the sand, i wish i was
the truth is im stuck in the past

in the times when i was content and strong
i stand still with no strength to fight
soon come its ends, is what i wish for.

Life, the way I want it.

" Some people don't feel the rain, they just get wet."
- Bob Marley.

Truly said, I must say.
Everyday you walk around and come across people of all kinds that you would have never imagined.
 Some, Calm and serene like the summer sea.
 Some, Fast and feisty like the blowing wind.
 Some, Quiet like a homeless guy on the corner of a street.
 And there are the rest, who live in their own world . The way they walk, the way they talk, you just know they are different than the rest.
I've been waiting for too long to discover my own hobby and things I'm interested in . I know people who have various interests and skills. I feel moved by their undeniable passion for the same. It's all art, I swear. And I stand here, thinking about myself. Sometimes I feel like, forget this shit. I can walk without falling and that's enough to live. But then there are other lonely and bored days, when I think I need something, that something which is gonna make people say " THIS girl, well what can I say? she's so good at *whatever-my-future-'thing'-is-gonna-be* that it makes me want to do something at my own. "
You know, Something that inspires other people.
So I tried to write. As it happens, I can only write in a particular mood which comes once in a lifetime. Believe me you, there have been times when I read my old writings and I say to myself  " You gotta be shitting me. I could have never written something so well! "
So I eliminate that.
Anyway, You know what I've always wanted? I want to be a successful lawyer, have my amazing studio apartment, wear beautiful stilettos, call my friends over and cook food that would give them an orgasm.
Infact you know what? I wouldn't even mind if my food made me a big old fat woman if it was seriously yum!See thats what I want from life. Simple, huh?
How I wish it was. *Sigh*

Hi people !
Some people I know have started this blog. It's called Books And A Lot More.
They are just starting out so there is not much on the blog as of now. But, wait and watch, that's what they promised me...a lot more is going to come.
Also, before I forget, you can also follow them on Facebook here.

Do visit the blog and make me smile. :-)

One.

Date : 9th January , 2010
^ This is a Date I think I should Note.After having a lot of thought about blogging, Today I'm actualy writing my first Blog (Thanks to my Sister! ). I'm not one of those people who speak their mind out . In fact, I'm Pretty Under-confident,Introvert kind of a person. But then I thought , Why be Shy ? A Blog wouldn't hurt.